Product Strategy & Design
I came across this gem from the wonderful Book of Life at a particularly apt period in my life:
We imagine that we could not live without a certain kind of income or status or health; that it would be a disaster not to have a certain kind of relationship, house or job. This natural tendency of the mind is constantly stoked by life in commercial society, which adds to our sense of the number of things that should be considered Necessities rather than Luxuries.
Read the full article here.
I’m a big proponent of always trying to know myself better. For example, studying the things that upset me and knowing why they affect me in such a way, finding out about my weaknesses, and so on. If you’ve ever tried to learn about how your mind works, how to be mindful and in control of it, you’ve likely come across this piece of wisdom in some form or another: desire is the source of misery.
If you give it some thought, you find that it makes sense. In most cases, if not all, we’re upset because there’s something we want that we don’t have: money, love, success, free time, etc. My mistake was in making & adopting the following conclusion: if desire equals misery, I should strive to limit my desires as much as possible. But of course, that’s easier said than done.
But why was that the wrong conclusion to make? Well, recently, I made the mistake of wanting something too much, and I failed to get it. I had made it such an important part & goal of my life that when I failed to get it, it impacted me tremendously. I was in so much pain and it felt like a big part of me had collapsed. Only then did I realize that I hadn’t been applying the lesson of limiting my desires. So I tried to reapply it. But since I had been burned by my recent desire, I ran as fast as I could to the other extreme of no desires at all!
That turned into a kind of depression. I lost all motivation to do anything. Like, what’s the point? If it’s best to not want anything, then I don’t really care about making progress on anything. Yes, that sounds silly, I know. But I was still rebounding from the initial impact of my failure. Shortly after, my senses started coming back to me. I remembered that living without wanting anything is just not realistic. Life without progress, no change, would quickly drain the will to live out of its owner. We all want progress on something: career, relationships, mindfulness, spirituality, etc.
So how do you reconcile these two things: not becoming miserable by your desires but also be motivated enough to make progress towards things you desire? The answer in retrospect is obvious: like most things in life, it’s a balance. But how do you get that balance right in your mind? Different people do achieve it in different ways. Personally, I’m a man of faith. I believe that if I work hard & work mindfully, Allah will take care of the rest. Half work, half faith. My faith helps me keep my peace of mind while also pursuing progress on things I want, and without becoming enslaved by my wants & desires. Now since I’m not perfect (gasp!), I lost sight of that and had to relearn it. But hope I’m getting back on the right track.
All the best,
Amr
I find that most people, me included, are skilled at tricking our minds into thinking we don’t have control over the things standing between us and the things we desire. The trick behind it: excuses.
We’re not even very creative with our excuses. Take exercise, for example. Most people who claim they wish to more fit/healthy cite some the following as excuses: too tired today, the weather is not ideal, no budget for gym, no time (this is easily the biggest one). But when you take a moment and think about it, it’s not really about the excuses. If exercise was a real priority, you would’ve exercised even if all the conditions weren’t ideal. But until you take the time to think about what your priorities are, and in what order they rank, your mind will simply jump to the usual list of excuses.
Thinking about your priorities actively, rather than merely reacting to what each day throws into your lap, will not only give you clarity about what truly matters at any given point of your life, but it also makes you face some truths about what you cannot do, because it simply didn’t rank high enough for you to make the time for it. I’ve always said: I wish I could play the piano. In reality, I could start learning, but when I sit down and think about the time investment it would take, I’ve yet to justify prioritizing piano playing over what my current priorities are. Luckily, priorities change with time, so there’s always hope. But at least now I don’t feel that I’m not learning the piano out of laziness, rather it’s the reality that there are more important things for me to focus on right now.
Finally, by repeating priorities instead of excuses, it works as a natural reminder to re-examine those priorities and see whether new priorities should be set, or whether some re-ordering is needed.
The video below by AsapTHOUGHT goes into this with a more amusing description of the problem.
I’ve been a fan of movies ever since I can remember. Film is such a terrific storytelling medium. A filmmaker has so many tools at her disposal to tell a story. In the video below, Brad Bird, the talented director behind some fantastic Pixar movies, talks about animation as a medium. If you like movies at all, you should watch it. It’s only 5 minutes.
The Marvel of Creation is a series of posts, each containing an image or set of images that make me stand in awe at the sublime creations of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. This is the first set.
Looking at those jellyfish, I could help but stop and think how such a simple looking organism could be a living thing that has moves about at its will. How could something so sparse and translucent be more than an inanimate object?
When things like those jellyfish make you stop and think for a few moment, you might be lucky enough to pause long enough and remember how little we know about the world, and how much that will never be known or discovered.
Subhan Allah…
We all like to think that we’re rational adults, that we evaluate things based on facts before concluding with a judgement. But that false belief couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Yes, while some can be more disciplined others in their mental evaluations of things, situations, and people, we cannot fully escape the effect our body chemistry has on our thinking.
I’m not going to try and summarize the School of Life video linked below because it’s not long anyway and you should watch it. But I do wish to highlight this: while knowing some imperfect traits about ourselves doesn’t automatically mean that we’re never going to make those mistakes again, the fact that we now know means we can at least recognize when it happens and try to counterbalance its effect. In this case, when you find yourself judging a situation or person while you’re tired, angry, sad, keep a mental note to come back to your judgement later on and see if you still come up with the same conclusion.
In the Big Think video below, Simon Sinek, talks about vision and how we now live in a world where everyone is pressured to have a novel, exciting vision if they want to be considered a valued player in our world’s economy.
He argues that not everyone needs to come up with an original vision and that it’s fine to be a follower of someone else’s vision. After all, if everyone is encouraged to be a leader, then who’s left to be led? Now at some point, being a follower has become a bad thing. It probably has to do with our simple minds focusing on the spotlight because we can’t focus on everything at the same time. So we reserve most of our attention and admiration to those in the spotlight, such as leaders/visionaries.
However, just because our minds tend to fall for a simplistic view of the world (because it’s easier & more glamorous), it doesn’t mean that this is the way the world actually works. People who are considered followers can & do lead gratifying lives and be just as proud of their work as anyone else. It may sound obvious, but sometimes we forget obvious facts when the world around us keeps trying to force a certain idea into our minds.
With all that said, Sinek does talk about the important of having a direction. Because while you don’t necessarily need to be a leader to achieve great things, you do need to have a direction in order to reach a specific destination; otherwise, you’re likely to be stumbling around and not making the best use of your time & energy.
Speaking from personal experience, finding direction isn’t easy either. When you have a wide field of interests, having to choose one over the all other paths that you believe you’ll love is very difficult and feels limiting. Everyone says that a jack of all trades is a master of none, but I’ve come to learn that while that is true, someone can find a lucrative balance. But the way to get to that balance can’t be to pursue many directions at once, unless you’re a super-human, then good on you! The better way to pursue multiple interests is to tackle them one by one, reaching what you consider a good depth in each before moving on to the next.
I moved to Malaysia two years ago to look for a job and escape the war in Syria. Ever since the rebellion broke out, one truth has been consistent: many people are dying. Whether good or bad, innocent or criminals, it’s execution for everyone without trial. And it’s all the result of one man’s addiction to power & his refusal to give it up at any cost. Meanwhile, it’s been over 5 years and the people of my country are still being slaughtered, tortured, have their homes blown up, doors shut in their faces when they seek help from other nations, and for what…
What motivates your work? For the longest time I can remember, I’ve had trouble finding drive for work. Soon as something becomes a thing I have to do, my mind starts resisting it. Ben Schwartz talks about how a lot of jobs today were designed in a soulless fashion that doesn’t care about the person doing the job, their growth, or their contribution. It’s those factors, rather than money, are what ultimately matter for a satisfying career.
Schwartz makes an interesting point when he takes what most people call a mental model and terms it idea technology. It makes sense what you think about it. The way we think is constantly evolving, just as technology never its march forward. What’s funny though, as Schwartz points out, is that we usually discard technology that doesn’t work and move onto something better. However when it comes to idea technology, we hold on to a lot of bad tech that’s outdated & no longer relevant for what we’re trying to employ it to do.
It’s fascinating to come so close to a sea turtle and admire it, almost touching it but not quite. I took this at Aquaria KLCC earlier this year.
Amr Khalifeh 